Anxiety doesn’t just affect the person experiencing it—it impacts their partner and the relationship they share. If you love someone who struggles with anxiety, you may feel helpless at times, unsure of what to say or do to ease their distress.
You want to be supportive, but you also don’t want to say the wrong thing or make it worse. You need resources for how to support an anxious partner.
You’re not alone. Many couples navigate this dynamic, and the good news is, there are ways to help your partner without losing yourself in the process.
As a licensed psychologist and couples therapist, I’ve seen firsthand how small, intentional shifts can bring a sense of relief, connection, and even healing.
Let’s talk about what helps. In this blog, you’ll find guidance for when to hug, talk, offer comfort, and encourage professional support.
Understanding Anxiety: It’s Not Just “Worrying Too Much”
Anxiety isn’t just about worrying—it can feel like an all-encompassing storm. It can look different for everyone: some people get irritable, others shut down, and some may experience panic attacks that feel terrifying.
Imagine your partner is sitting on the couch, scrolling on their phone but not really seeing anything. You notice their foot tapping rapidly, their breathing shallow, and a look of tension on their face. Maybe they snap at you over something small or withdraw completely. This isn’t about you—this is anxiety showing up.
The first step to helping is recognizing what anxiety looks like in your partner. Do they get restless? Overthink things out loud? Avoid situations? Pay attention to their patterns.
The first step to helping is recognizing what anxiety looks like in your partner. Do they get restless? Overthink things out loud? Avoid situations? Pay attention to their patterns.
When to Hug: The Power of Physical Comfort
Sometimes, anxiety isn’t about fixing anything—it’s about feeling safe. A well-timed hug can be incredibly grounding, but it has to be welcome.
Jenna shared a moment with her husband, Peter, that transformed how they handled her anxiety together. She was spiraling over an upcoming work deadline, sitting at the kitchen table with her head in her hands. Peter, eager to help, started offering solutions: “Maybe if you break it into smaller steps, it won’t feel so overwhelming,” or “Why don’t you take a break for a little while?”
When to Hug: The Power of Physical Comfort
Sometimes, anxiety isn’t about fixing anything—it’s about feeling safe. A well-timed hug can be incredibly grounding, but it has to be welcome.
Jenna shared a moment with her husband, Peter, that transformed how they handled her anxiety together. She was spiraling over an upcoming work deadline, sitting at the kitchen table with her head in her hands. Peter, eager to help, started offering solutions: “Maybe if you break it into smaller steps, it won’t feel so overwhelming,” or “Why don’t you take a break for a little while?”
But the more he talked, the more overwhelmed she became. Her breathing grew quicker, her hands clenched, and she shook her head. Peter could tell that his words weren’t helping, so he paused and asked, “Do you want solutions, or do you need a hug?”
Jenna looked up at him, her eyes teary, and reached for a hug. Peter walked over, wrapped his arms around her, and held her for a solid two minutes without saying a word. As he did, he felt her body relax against him, her breathing slow, and a deep sigh escaped. That moment changed everything. Peter learned that sometimes, the best support wasn’t words—it was his presence.
If your partner finds comfort in physical touch, offering a gentle hug, holding their hand, or rubbing their back can be deeply soothing.
When to Talk: Offering the Right Words at the Right Time
But the more he talked, the more overwhelmed she became. Her breathing grew quicker, her hands clenched, and she shook her head. Peter could tell that his words weren’t helping, so he paused and asked, “Do you want solutions, or do you need a hug?”
Jenna looked up at him, her eyes teary, and reached for a hug. Peter walked over, wrapped his arms around her, and held her for a solid two minutes without saying a word. As he did, he felt her body relax against him, her breathing slow, and a deep sigh escaped. That moment changed everything. Peter learned that sometimes, the best support wasn’t words—it was his presence.
If your partner finds comfort in physical touch, offering a gentle hug, holding their hand, or rubbing their back can be deeply soothing.
When to Talk: Offering the Right Words at the Right Time
If your partner is in the thick of anxiety, this is not the time for logic-heavy explanations like, “You have nothing to worry about!” or “Just calm down.”
Instead, try grounding statements:
- “I’m here. You’re not alone.”
- “It makes sense why you’re feeling this way.”
- “You don’t have to figure this out right now. Just breathe with me.”
Rachel had frequent anxious thoughts about her relationship with Mark. She would overanalyze past conversations, worrying she had said something wrong or that he was secretly upset with her. When Rachel would spiral, Mark used to try reassuring her with statements like, “You don’t need to worry, everything is fine.”
But those words didn’t reach her. Instead, she felt dismissed, as though her feelings weren’t valid. He needed to know how to support partner with anxiety.
So Mark decided to try something different. The next time Rachel spiraled, he sat with her, took her hands, and said, “I see you’re really upset right now. I want you to know I’m here, and I love you. We don’t have to solve this, but I’ll sit with you until you feel a little better.” That change in approach made all the difference for Rachel—she felt understood instead of brushed aside. Something deep inside her calmed instantly.
Group Therapy: A Safe Space for Support
Group Therapy: A Safe Space for Support
Sometimes, anxiety can feel isolating, and having a supportive community can be a game-changer. That’s why I offer Be Still a 6-week online group therapy program that blends evidence-based mindfulness techniques with Christian principles. It’s designed specifically for individuals who struggle with stress and anxiety.
This group is a structured, therapist-led space where participants can share their experiences and receive support from others who truly understand. It’s not just about talking—it’s about learning, growing, and breaking the cycle of isolation that anxiety can create.
In this program, you’ll find:
- Weekly 60-minute sessions in a safe, confidential environment
- Guidance from a licensed psychologist (me!) to lead you through reflective discussions and interactive exercises — all rooted in Christian principles
- Practical tools and exercises to manage anxiety in daily life
- A supportive group of peers who understand what you’re going through and offer encouragement
- A structured yet flexible approach to addressing anxiety and stress
This isn’t about sitting around and venting—it’s about actively working toward relief. The group provides a mix of education, discussion, and skill-building to help participants feel more confident in handling anxiety. This is a great recommendation for how to support your partner with anxiety.
If you or your partner could benefit from this type of extra support, I invite you to explore Be Still group therapy. Visit this link for more details.
Next Steps: Let’s Take Action Together
You don’t have to navigate this alone. If you and your partner are ready to find relief and strengthen your relationship, here are three ways to start:
- Schedule a Complimentary 15-Minute Consultation. Let’s talk about your unique situation and how therapy can help. Book here
- Get on the Be Still Group Therapy Waitlist. Space limited. Get on the waitlist here
- Download Your Free Guide. Learn strategies to find relief from anxiety and depression. Get it here
Supporting your partner through anxiety isn’t about having all the answers—it’s about being present, offering reassurance, and knowing when to encourage professional help. You’re already showing up, and that matters more than you know.
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