Spring is a season of renewal, growth, and fresh starts—a perfect time to nurture your relationship. Just like we declutter our homes and refresh our routines, this season invites us to reflect on our relationships and strengthen the foundation we share with our partners.

As a licensed psychologist and couples therapist, I see spring as an ideal time for couples to invest in their connection. The longer days and renewed energy of the season can promote healing and be the perfect backdrop for working through challenges and rediscovering intimacy.

Therapy is a proactive, courageous step that countless couples take to grow closer rather than drift apart. Blythe Copeland notes that couples therapy sessions provide tools for handling stress while enhancing communication and conflict resolution skills. 

The stories below (fictional but based on real experiences) illustrate just how transformative therapy can be. 

Let’s talk about 12 honest reasons why couples come to therapy — whether they’re dating, engaged, or married.

1. We Keep Having the Same Fight

Matt and Lisa repeatedly argued about money. Lisa thought Matt was irresponsible with spending, while Matt felt like Lisa micromanaged every financial decision. Their resentment had been building for years, and neither of them felt respected by the other.  

Matt and Lisa repeatedly argued about money. Lisa thought Matt was irresponsible with spending, while Matt felt like Lisa micromanaged every financial decision. Their resentment had been building for years, and neither of them felt respected by the other.  

Lisa had grown up in a household where financial insecurity was a constant source of stress. As a child, she remembered the fear of eviction notices on the door and the way her parents’ fights over money filled the house with tension. She swore that when she had a family of her own, she would never let money be a source of strain. So, she meticulously tracked their finances, kept a strict budget, and planned ahead for unexpected expenses. To her, financial control wasn’t about restriction—it was about safety, security, and love.

Matt, on the other hand, had a very different mindset about money. He grew up in a family that never worried much about financial planning. His parents believed that as long as you worked hard, things would be alright. He carried that belief into adulthood, focusing on making enough money so that he wouldn’t have to feel restricted. To him, money was meant to be enjoyed. He didn’t think twice about buying a last-minute weekend getaway or upgrading his car. So, when Lisa confronted him about “wasting money” on something he considered harmless, he felt attacked, like she saw him as a child who couldn’t be trusted.

Their fights were never just about money. The real pain came from what money represented to each of them. For Lisa, Matt’s spending made her feel unsafe—like all the hard work she put into planning for their future was being disregarded. For Matt, Lisa’s strict budgeting made him feel controlled, like he had to ask for permission for every little thing. Over time, they stopped seeing each other as partners and instead saw each other as the problem.

By the time they came to therapy, they were exhausted. Every conversation about money turned into a fight, and neither of them felt understood. They had started to avoid talking about finances altogether, but the resentment still simmered beneath the surface.

In therapy, Matt and Lisa had a breakthrough when they realized they weren’t arguing about numbers in a bank account—they were arguing about deeper emotional needs. Lisa wasn’t trying to control Matt; she was trying to create the stability she had never felt while growing up. And Matt wasn’t trying to be reckless; he was trying to experience the sense of freedom and enjoyment that money had always represented to him.

With that understanding, something shifted. Instead of blaming each other, they started working as a team. In therapy they created a  strategy that honored both of their needs. They even established a monthly “fun money” allowance for each of them—an amount that Matt could spend freely without Lisa feeling anxious. At the same time, Matt agreed to be more involved in their budgeting process so Lisa didn’t feel like she had to carry the burden of financial security alone.

The transformation in their relationship was more than just financial—it was emotional. Lisa no longer felt alone in managing their future, and Matt no longer felt like he had to fight for autonomy. The tension that had once defined their relationship lifted, replaced by teamwork and trust. Their fights shifted to discussions. Their resentment softened into understanding. And for the first time in a long time, they felt like they were on the same side.

Why Therapy Helps:

Recurring fights are often symptoms of deeper emotional wounds. Therapy helps couples move past surface-level conflicts and uncover the real fears and needs underneath. When couples learn to function as a team, they can turn conflict into an opportunity for empathy and growth instead of a source of division.

Lisa had grown up in a household where financial insecurity was a constant source of stress. As a child, she remembered the fear of eviction notices on the door and the way her parents’ fights over money filled the house with tension. She swore that when she had a family of her own, she would never let money be a source of strain. So, she meticulously tracked their finances, kept a strict budget, and planned ahead for unexpected expenses. To her, financial control wasn’t about restriction—it was about safety, security, and love.

Matt, on the other hand, had a very different mindset about money. He grew up in a family that never worried much about financial planning. His parents believed that as long as you worked hard, things would be alright. He carried that belief into adulthood, focusing on making enough money so that he wouldn’t have to feel restricted. To him, money was meant to be enjoyed. He didn’t think twice about buying a last-minute weekend getaway or upgrading his car. So, when Lisa confronted him about “wasting money” on something he considered harmless, he felt attacked, like she saw him as a child who couldn’t be trusted.

Their fights were never just about money. The real pain came from what money represented to each of them. For Lisa, Matt’s spending made her feel unsafe—like all the hard work she put into planning for their future was being disregarded. For Matt, Lisa’s strict budgeting made him feel controlled, like he had to ask for permission for every little thing. Over time, they stopped seeing each other as partners and instead saw each other as the problem.

By the time they came to therapy, they were exhausted. Every conversation about money turned into a fight, and neither of them felt understood. They had started to avoid talking about finances altogether, but the resentment still simmered beneath the surface.

In therapy, Matt and Lisa had a breakthrough when they realized they weren’t arguing about numbers in a bank account—they were arguing about deeper emotional needs. Lisa wasn’t trying to control Matt; she was trying to create the stability she had never felt while growing up. And Matt wasn’t trying to be reckless; he was trying to experience the sense of freedom and enjoyment that money had always represented to him.

With that understanding, something shifted. Instead of blaming each other, they started working as a team. In therapy they created a  strategy that honored both of their needs. They even established a monthly “fun money” allowance for each of them—an amount that Matt could spend freely without Lisa feeling anxious. At the same time, Matt agreed to be more involved in their budgeting process so Lisa didn’t feel like she had to carry the burden of financial security alone.

The transformation in their relationship was more than just financial—it was emotional. Lisa no longer felt alone in managing their future, and Matt no longer felt like he had to fight for autonomy. The tension that had once defined their relationship lifted, replaced by teamwork and trust. Their fights shifted to discussions. Their resentment softened into understanding. And for the first time in a long time, they felt like they were on the same side.

Why Therapy Helps:

Recurring fights are often symptoms of deeper emotional wounds. Therapy helps couples move past surface-level conflicts and uncover the real fears and needs underneath. When couples learn to function as a team, they can turn conflict into an opportunity for empathy and growth instead of a source of division.

2. We Struggle with Intimacy

Danielle and Marcus had been married for ten years, and somewhere along the way, they had lost the closeness they once shared. In the early years of their relationship, they couldn’t keep their hands off each other. They would stay up late talking, cuddle on the couch, and steal kisses in the kitchen. But over time, life got in the way.

Danielle was constantly exhausted from balancing work, parenting, and household responsibilities. By the time the kids were in bed, she barely had enough energy to take a shower, let alone engage in deep conversation or physical intimacy. Marcus felt the same way. His job was demanding, and by the time he got home, he just wanted to zone out in front of the TV or scroll on his phone. They told themselves it was just a season of life.

But the season stretched into years. Hugs became quick and routine. Conversations were mostly about schedules, chores, and their kids. Marcus started feeling rejected—every time he reached for Danielle, she would pull away, saying she was too tired or distracted. Over time, he stopped trying. He told himself that if she wanted to connect, she would initiate. But she never did.

Danielle, on the other hand, didn’t even realize how much she had pulled away. She loved Marcus deeply, but she felt emotionally drained. The pressure of being everything to everyone—wife, mother, employee—left her with nothing left to give at the end of the day. She wasn’t avoiding Marcus because she didn’t care; she just felt like there was no space left in her mind or body for intimacy.

The distance between them grew. Marcus started to feel lonely in their marriage, like they were just coexisting rather than truly husband and wife. Danielle felt guilty, but she didn’t know how to fix it. They both missed what they had before, but neither of them knew how to bridge the gap.

By the time they came to therapy, they had stopped talking about the issue altogether. The silence between them was heavy, filled with unspoken resentment and sadness. They were afraid to bring it up because they didn’t want to hurt each other—but the truth was, they were already hurting.

In therapy, Danielle and Marcus finally had a safe space to express what they had been holding in. Danielle admitted that she felt overwhelmed and emotionally drained, but she also realized that she had stopped prioritizing their relationship. She had been waiting for things to magically get better instead of intentionally nurturing their connection.

Marcus, in turn, shared how rejected and lonely he had felt. He wasn’t just missing physical intimacy—he was missing the emotional closeness, the laughter, the small moments of affection that made him feel loved.

Through therapy, they realized that intimacy isn’t just about sex—it’s about connection. They started making small but meaningful changes. Instead of defaulting to screens at night, they spent ten minutes checking in with each other. They started holding hands again, offering spontaneous hugs, and leaving each other sweet notes.

They also reintroduced date nights—not elaborate ones, but simple evenings where they focused on each other, even if it was just sharing a glass of wine after the kids went to bed. Over time, these small efforts reignited their emotional and physical intimacy.

The biggest transformation wasn’t just in their physical connection—it was in their emotional connection too. Instead of feeling like roommates, they started feeling like husband and wife again. They remembered why they fell in love in the first place. And most importantly, they learned that intimacy isn’t something that just happens—it’s something you build together, one intentional act at a time.

Why Therapy Helps:

Intimacy struggles are common but rarely talked about openly. Therapy provides a safe space to address emotional and physical disconnects, helping couples move from avoidance and frustration to deeper understanding and connection. When couples slow down and talk about how they’re feeling and what they need, intimacy becomes a natural result rather than another task on a to-do list.

3. We Have Different Communication Styles

Rachel and Daniel loved each other, but they couldn’t seem to communicate without things going sideways. Every time Rachel tried to talk about something that was bothering her, Daniel would shut down. She would press harder, trying to get him to engage, but he would retreat even further—becoming distant, quiet, and avoidant. The more he pulled away, the more desperate Rachel felt. Their fights followed the same frustrating pattern.

Rachel grew up in a family where talking things through was how problems got solved. Her parents were open, expressive, and unafraid of big emotions. If something was wrong, it was discussed—sometimes loudly, but always with the belief that honest conversation brought people closer. She carried that belief into her marriage, wanting to address issues head-on so emotions wouldn’t fester. But with Daniel, every attempt at a serious discussion felt like hitting a brick wall.

Daniel, on the other hand, came from a family where conflict was something to be avoided at all costs. Growing up, he learned that keeping the peace was more important than expressing how you felt. If there was tension in his house, the solution was to ignore it and move on. His parents rarely argued in front of him, and when they did, it ended in long silences instead of resolution. As an adult, his default response to conflict was the same—stay quiet, shut down, and wait for things to blow over.

So when Rachel approached him with frustration, he didn’t know how to respond. He wasn’t trying to ignore her—he just didn’t know what to say. He felt overwhelmed, like he was being backed into a corner with no way out. His instinct was to escape, to end the conversation as quickly as possible so the discomfort would stop. But that only made Rachel more upset. She felt abandoned, like he didn’t care about their relationship enough to fight for it.

The cycle of disconnect wore them both down. Rachel felt unheard and alone. Daniel felt like he could never get things “right” in their marriage. They both wanted to feel close, but every time they were in an argument, they ended up feeling even more distant.

By the time they came to therapy, they were exhausted. They weren’t screaming at each other, but they weren’t really talking either. They felt stuck—like two people speaking different languages, unable to bridge the gap.

Therapy gave Rachel and Daniel a deeper understanding of why they responded to conflict so differently. Rachel wasn’t “too intense,” and Daniel wasn’t “emotionally unavailable.” They simply had different communication styles shaped by their upbringings. Once they understood that, they could stop seeing each other as the enemy and start working toward healthy communication strategies that would bring them closer.

Rachel learned that Daniel wasn’t ignoring her—he was overwhelmed and didn’t know how to respond in the moment. So she practiced giving him space when he needed it while also setting the expectation that important issues wouldn’t be swept under the rug.

Daniel learned that shutting down was actually making things worse. He worked on pausing before retreating, taking deep breaths, and acknowledging Rachel’s feelings instead of avoiding the conversation. Instead of disappearing into silence, he started saying, “I hear you. I need a little time to process, but I do want to talk about this.” That simple shift made Rachel feel seen and reassured.

Through therapy, they also developed new communication strategies, like using “I feel” statements instead of blaming, setting aside structured times to talk about important topics, and recognizing when their fight-or-flight instincts were kicking in.

The transformation wasn’t immediate, but over time, Rachel and Daniel started to feel more like partners instead of opponents. Their conversations became calmer. Rachel felt less desperate to get a response from Daniel because she trusted that he would come back to the conversation. Daniel felt less overwhelmed because he knew he had the tools to engage without shutting down.

Most importantly, they no longer saw their communication differences as a deal-breaker. Instead of seeing their styles as incompatible, they learned to see them as complementary. Rachel’s passion and directness helped Daniel step outside his comfort zone, and Daniel’s calm, steady presence helped Rachel feel safe. Instead of fighting against their differences, they started working with them—creating a marriage where both of them felt heard, valued, and understood.

Why Therapy Helps:

When couples struggle with communication, it’s usually not because they don’t love each other—it’s because they don’t yet understand how to interact in a way that feels safe and effective for both partners. Therapy provides tools to bridge communication gaps, prevent misinterpretations, and create a relationship where both people feel seen and heard.

4. Trust Has Been Broken

Olivia never expected to feel betrayed by James. They had been together for years, built a life side by side, and shared a deep trust—or so she thought. But one evening, while reviewing their finances, she stumbled across a credit card statement she didn’t recognize. Confused, she asked James about it. His face immediately tensed. He hesitated before admitting that he had been hiding financial struggles from her for months.

Olivia’s stomach dropped. She had always believed they were on the same page about money. They had set financial goals together—saving for a house, putting money aside for their future. But James had secretly been making purchases he hadn’t told her about, dipping into credit, and making minimum payments without her knowing. The numbers weren’t catastrophic, but the deception cut deep.

For Olivia, this wasn’t just about money—it was about honesty and trust. If he could lie about this, what else could he be hiding? Have there been broken promises she doesn’t know about yet?

James, on the other hand, wasn’t trying to be deceptive—at least, not in a way that felt malicious. He had grown up in a household where financial stress was constant. His parents fought about money all the time, and he had learned early on that avoiding conflict was better than confronting it. When he started overspending, he told himself he would fix it before Olivia ever found out. He didn’t want to burden her with the stress. He thought he could handle it alone. But as the debt grew, so did his shame. The more ashamed he felt, the more he avoided it. And the more he avoided it, the worse it got.

Now, looking at Olivia’s face—the hurt, the disappointment—he realized that avoiding the truth hadn’t protected her. It had wounded her.

Their relationship felt fragile in the days that followed. Olivia oscillated between anger and sadness. She wanted to believe James, but she couldn’t shake the feeling of betrayal. James felt like he had shattered something precious and wasn’t sure how to repair it. Every conversation about money ended in frustration or tears.

They were stuck. Olivia couldn’t move past the deception, and James didn’t know how to prove he was trustworthy again. That’s when they turned to therapy.

In therapy, Olivia and James were able to break the silence and talk honestly about what had happened—not just the facts but the emotions underneath.

Olivia shared how James’s secrecy had made her feel unsafe in their relationship. It wasn’t just about the money; it was about the fear that he might withhold other things from her in the future. She needed transparency, consistency, and reassurance that they were a team.

James finally opened up about his shame. He had never intended to deceive her, but he had been too afraid to admit his mistakes. He realized that, in trying to handle things alone, he had pushed Olivia away in a way that damaged their relationship. For the first time, he truly understood the depth of her hurt, and Olivia could see that his avoidance wasn’t about a lack of love—it was about fear and shame.

Together, they worked on rebuilding trust. They set up new financial habits, not as a way to control each other but as a way to stay accountable and connected. They created a budget that they reviewed together every month. James agreed to check in with Olivia before making significant purchases—not because she didn’t trust him, but because they were partners making financial decisions together. They even took a financial literacy course as a couple to strengthen their shared understanding of money.

More importantly, they changed how they communicated. Instead of James withdrawing when he felt overwhelmed, he learned to be honest about his fears. Instead of Olivia assuming the worst, she learned to express her feelings in a way that invited connection rather than blame.

The transformation in their relationship was profound. Olivia no longer felt like she had to be on high alert, waiting for another secret to surface. James no longer felt like he had to carry his burdens alone. The trust they had lost wasn’t just repaired—it was rebuilt on an even stronger foundation.

Why Therapy Helps:

Trust isn’t just about avoiding betrayal—it’s about feeling safe with your partner, knowing that you can rely on them to be honest and transparent. The American Psychological Association reminds us that couples therapy can help partners work through issues related to money, fidelity, children, or coping with everyday stress. Therapy provides a structured way to rebuild trust, heal wounds, and create new habits. When partners learn to function as a team, challenges become opportunities for growth rather than sources of division.

5. Life Transitions Have Thrown Us Off-Balance

Miguel and Laura had always considered themselves a strong couple. They were best friends, partners in adventure, and the kind of couple that made marriage look easy—until they had their first child.

Nothing could have fully prepared them for the way parenthood would shake up their relationship. In the early months after their daughter was born, everything changed. The long, sleepless nights blurred into exhausting days. 

Laura, who had always been optimistic and full of energy, felt drained in a way she had never experienced before. She loved their daughter more than anything, but she also felt like she had lost a part of herself. She was home with the baby all day, feeling isolated and overwhelmed, while Miguel continued working full-time. By the time he got home, all she wanted was for him to take over so she could breathe.

Miguel, on the other hand, was doing his best to keep up. He hated seeing Laura struggle, but he also felt the weight of new responsibilities. He wanted to be a supportive husband and a present father, but after long days at work, he often felt exhausted, too. He’d walk through the door, expecting a moment to unwind, only to be met with frustration. Laura would hand him the baby without a word, and he’d feel like he was already failing before he even had a chance to settle in.

The resentment started creeping in. Laura felt like Miguel got to “escape” to work while she was stuck at home with no break. Miguel felt like nothing he did was enough—that no matter how hard he tried, Laura was still upset with him. Their once effortless connection was replaced by short tempers, misunderstandings, and emotional distance. Neither of them wanted to admit it, but they were both starting to feel lonely in their marriage.

One evening, after yet another tense conversation, Laura broke down. “I don’t even feel like us anymore,” she admitted through tears. That’s when they realized they needed help.

In therapy, Miguel and Laura had space to voice what they had been holding inside. Laura admitted how much she missed feeling connected to Miguel—not just as co-parents but as a couple. She shared how exhausted and unseen she felt, like she was drowning in responsibilities without any acknowledgment. She wasn’t angry with Miguel—she was just desperate for support and didn’t know how to ask for it in a way that didn’t sound like criticism.

Miguel, in turn, shared his own struggles. He had assumed Laura naturally knew how much he appreciated her, but therapy helped him see that she needed to hear it. He also admitted that he sometimes felt unsure of his role as a father—like no matter what he did, Laura was always two steps ahead of him. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to help; he just didn’t always know how.

With the guidance of therapy, they started making intentional changes. Instead of assuming what the other needed, they began having open, honest conversations. Laura learned to express her needs without resentment, and Miguel learned to step in proactively instead of waiting to be told what to do.

They created small rituals to reconnect—morning check-ins over coffee, a rule that screens went off at dinner, and a commitment to a weekly date night, even if it was just an at-home dinner after their daughter was asleep. They also worked on shifting their mindset from “keeping score” to functioning as a team. Instead of focusing on who was doing more, they started appreciating each other’s contributions, big and small.

Most importantly, they stopped seeing each other as the problem and started tackling the real challenge—adjusting to this massive life transition together. The frustration and loneliness they had felt started to lift, replaced by a sense of partnership and understanding.

The transformation didn’t mean that parenting suddenly became easy, but it did mean that they no longer felt alone in it. Miguel became more confident in his role as a father, and Laura felt more supported, knowing she wasn’t carrying the weight of parenthood by herself. Their marriage wasn’t just surviving parenthood—it was growing because of it.

Why Therapy Helps:

Jennifer Uhrlass, LMFT, highlights the benefits of therapy during a major life transition —whether it’s parenthood, a new job, a big move, or another shift. Therapy provides the tools to navigate these changes in a way that brings couples closer rather than pulling them apart. When partners learn to communicate their needs and work as a team, life’s transitions become opportunities for deeper connection instead of sources of division.

6. We Have Different Parenting Styles

Emily and Ryan had always known they were different in some ways—Emily was naturally patient and reflective, while Ryan was more direct and action-oriented. But it wasn’t until they became parents that their differences started to feel like a serious problem. Their son, Liam, was a spirited and curious five-year-old. He was kind and loving, but he also tested boundaries like most kids his age.

 One evening, as the three of them sat at the dinner table, Liam refused to eat his vegetables. Emily took a gentle approach, encouraging him to take a few bites but ultimately respecting his decision. Ryan, however, saw it differently. In his mind, Liam needed to learn discipline. “If he doesn’t eat what’s in front of him, he shouldn’t get anything else,” he said firmly.

Emily felt her stomach tighten. She knew Ryan meant well, but she didn’t want mealtimes to become a battle. “He’ll eat when he’s hungry,” she said softly, trying to diffuse the situation. But Ryan shook his head in frustration. “This is exactly why he doesn’t listen to you,” he muttered under his breath.

That comment hit Emily hard. It wasn’t the first time they had disagreed about discipline, but it was the first time she felt truly dismissed. Later that night, when Liam was asleep, Emily confronted Ryan. “Why do you always act like I’m too soft?” she asked, her voice full of hurt.

Ryan sighed. “Because I feel like I’m the only one enforcing any rules. I don’t want him to grow up thinking he can do whatever he wants.”

Emily’s eyes welled with tears. “And I don’t want him to grow up afraid of making mistakes,” she countered.

Their conversation ended without resolution. The problem wasn’t just about vegetables—it was about deeper values, about what kind of parents they wanted to be. And instead of working together, they were starting to see each other as the enemy.

It wasn’t long before their disagreements began seeping into other parts of their relationship. Emily started dreading interactions where discipline might come up. Ryan felt like he was constantly walking on eggshells, afraid of Emily undermining him. Their once-solid marriage started to feel tense, and the warmth between them began to fade.

That’s when they decided to seek help.

In therapy, Emily and Ryan had a safe space to unpack what was happening beneath the surface. It wasn’t just about discipline styles—it was about the way they had each been raised, and Dr. Orna Guralik observes that “when we fight with our partners, we’re re-enacting things from our past.”

Emily had grown up in a home where emotions weren’t always validated. She remembered what it felt like to be scolded for crying or expressing frustration, and she had vowed that her children would always feel heard. For her, gentle parenting wasn’t about a lack of boundaries—it was about creating a safe space where Liam could learn and grow without fear.

Ryan, on the other hand, had been raised with strict rules and clear consequences. His parents had loved him deeply, but discipline had been firm and unwavering. He believed that structure and clear expectations were what helped kids succeed in the world. In his mind, discipline wasn’t about punishment—it was about preparation.

Once they understood where the other was coming from, something shifted. Instead of seeing each other as opponents, they started seeing each other as partners in raising Liam. Therapy helped them develop a parenting approach that honored both of their perspectives.

They worked on making decisions about discipline together when things were calm instead of in the heat of the moment. They created a parenting plan that balanced gentle guidance with firm boundaries. For example, instead of arguing at the dinner table, they agreed ahead of time on expectations for meals and how they would respond when Liam resisted.

Most importantly, they stopped assuming bad intent. Emily no longer saw Ryan as harsh and controlling—she saw him as someone who deeply cared about preparing their son for the real world. And Ryan no longer saw Emily as overly permissive—he saw her as someone who wanted to raise a child who felt secure and emotionally supported.

The changes weren’t immediate, but over time, their home became a place of more peace and cooperation. Instead of being frustrated by each other’s differences, they began appreciating what each of them brought to the table as parents. They even started setting aside time each week for “parent check-ins,” where they could talk through challenges and brainstorm solutions.

And Liam? He benefited the most. Instead of receiving mixed signals from his parents, he experienced a more unified, consistent approach. He still tested boundaries because, of course, he was a five-year-old but Emily and Ryan no longer let it divide them.

Why Therapy Helps:

Parenting differences are one of the biggest sources of conflict in relationships, not because one person is right and the other is wrong, but because parenting taps into deeply rooted values and childhood experiences. Therapy helps couples move from seeing each other as adversaries to functioning as a team, ensuring that their children grow up in a home filled with love, consistency, and mutual respect.

7. One of Us (or Both) Struggles with Mental Health

Ben had always been the strong, steady type—the person everyone could count on. At work, he was known for his productivity and reliability. Among friends, he was the one who kept a cool head when things got tough. At home, he did his best to be a devoted husband to Lisa. But what no one knew, what even Lisa had only begun to suspect, was that Ben was struggling with his mental health.

For months, maybe even years, he had been carrying a weight he couldn’t quite put into words. At first, it was just occasional exhaustion, an underlying sense of stress that he assumed would go away with a good night’s sleep. But then the exhaustion didn’t go away. Small things began to overwhelm him—emails at work, decisions at home, even just getting out of bed some mornings. He stopped enjoying the things he used to love, like going for runs or playing guitar in the evenings. He told himself he was just tired, that he’d snap out of it soon. But deep down, he wasn’t so sure, and he was uncomfortable asking for help.

Lisa noticed the changes before Ben was ready to admit them. She saw the way he withdrew, how he seemed to go through the motions rather than truly being present. She saw the forced smiles, the nights he stared at his phone instead of engaging in conversation, the way he brushed off her concerns when she asked if something was wrong.

At first, she tried to be patient. She encouraged him to take breaks, to go on walks together, to talk if he wanted to. But as time went on and Ben remained distant, Lisa felt her patience turning into concern. She missed the way things used to be. She missed feeling like they were a team. And more than anything, she felt helpless watching the man she loved struggle without knowing how to reach him. She didn’t know how to support a partner with anxiety and depression.

One evening, after another silent dinner where Lisa could feel the distance between them growing, she finally spoke up. “Ben,” she said gently, “I feel like I’m losing you.”

Ben looked up from his plate, startled. “What do you mean?”

Tears welled in Lisa’s eyes. “I mean, you’re here, but you’re not here. I don’t know what’s going on, but I do know that pretending everything is fine isn’t working anymore.”

Ben sighed, running a hand through his hair. He wanted to tell her she was wrong, that he was just stressed, that he would figure it out. But the truth was, he didn’t know how to fix this on his own. And for the first time, he let himself say it out loud: “I don’t think I’m okay.”

That moment was a turning point. It wasn’t an instant solution but it was the first step toward healing.

Lisa helped Ben research therapists, and though he was hesitant, he agreed to try. In individual therapy, Ben was able to explore what he was experiencing—how anxiety and depression had been slowly building over time, how he had internalized the idea that asking for help was a weakness, and how avoiding his emotions had only made them worse. He picked up practical skills and useful tools to better care for his mental health, and most importantly, that he wasn’t alone.

Meanwhile, Lisa also sought support. In couples therapy, they worked through the impact Ben’s struggles had on their relationship. Lisa learned that while she couldn’t “fix” Ben, she could support him without feeling like she had to carry the weight of his healing alone. They talked about ways to communicate better so Ben didn’t feel pressure to always be “okay,” and Lisa didn’t feel shut out.

Over time, small but significant changes began to happen. Instead of bottling things up, Ben started sharing when he was having a tough day. Instead of withdrawing, he and Lisa would go on walks together or simply sit in quiet companionship. Lisa learned to ask, “Do you need space, or do you need me to sit with you?”—a question that helped Ben feel understood rather than pressured.

The transformation in their relationship was profound. They rediscovered a sense of partnership, a reminder that they were in this together. And while Ben’s journey with mental health wasn’t over, he no longer had to navigate it alone.

Why Therapy Helps:

Mental health challenges don’t just affect one person—they affect the entire relationship. Therapy helps couples understand how to support each other without resentment or frustration. It creates a space where struggles can be acknowledged without shame and where healing can happen together.

8. We Feel Like Roommates Instead of Partners

Jessica and Aaron used to be that couple—the one who couldn’t stop holding hands, who sent flirty texts in the middle of the day, who made each other laugh until their stomachs hurt. They had been inseparable, not just as romantic partners but as best friends. But somewhere between careers, kids, and the never-ending to-do list of life, that connection had started to fade.

These days, their conversations revolved around who was picking up the kids, whether the mortgage had been paid, and what needed to be grabbed from the grocery store. They still functioned well as a team—dinners were made, bills were paid, and responsibilities were shared—but the spark was gone.

At first, neither of them wanted to admit it. It wasn’t like they were fighting all the time. There was no major betrayal, no explosive arguments. They still loved each other. But love had started to feel more like a habit than an experience. They went to bed at the same time each night, but instead of cuddling or talking, Aaron would scroll through his phone while Jessica read a book. They rarely made time for date nights. Physical intimacy felt more like a chore than a joy.

Jessica missed feeling wanted. She longed for the days when Aaron would pull her in for a kiss just because. She craved deep conversations that weren’t about schedules or logistics. And yet, every time she considered bringing it up, she felt guilty. After all, Aaron wasn’t doing anything wrong. He was a great dad and a responsible partner. But deep down, she couldn’t shake the feeling that they had become more like roommates than soulmates.

Aaron felt the shift, too. He noticed how Jessica barely laughed at his jokes anymore, how they could sit in silence for hours and barely notice. He missed the way she used to look at him—with excitement, with admiration. Now, her glances were filled with exhaustion, preoccupation, and sometimes even indifference. And just like Jessica, he didn’t know how to fix it.

They weren’t unhappy. But they weren’t happy, either. And that in-between space—where nothing was terrible, but nothing felt alive—was a slow, quiet kind of loneliness.

Therapy became the wake-up call they needed. In their first session, Jessica finally said out loud what had been weighing on her heart: “I love you, but I miss us.” Aaron exhaled deeply and nodded. “I do, too.”

That moment—hearing that they were both feeling the same way—was the first step toward change. Their therapist helped them unpack how the busyness of life had edged out their emotional and physical connection. They weren’t intentionally neglecting each other, but they also weren’t prioritizing each other.

Through therapy, Jessica and Aaron began to make small but meaningful shifts. They set aside intentional time together—not just running errands or watching TV in the same room, but real connection. They reinstated date nights, even if it was just ordering takeout and having an uninterrupted conversation after the kids went to bed. They started asking each other deeper questions again—How are you really feeling? What’s something you’ve been thinking about lately?

Most importantly, they began to notice each other again. Aaron made an effort to compliment Jessica, to remind her that she was more than just a great mom—she was the woman he adored. Jessica began to initiate more physical affection, not out of obligation, but because she realized she wanted to feel close again.

The shift didn’t happen overnight, but over time, something beautiful unfolded. Laughter returned to their home. Inside jokes resurfaced. They started holding hands again. One night, as they lay in bed, Jessica turned to Aaron and whispered, “I feel like I have my best friend back.”

Aaron squeezed her hand and smiled. “Me too!”

Why Therapy Helps:

Many couples don’t break down because of big betrayals or dramatic fights—they drift apart slowly, without realizing it. Therapy helps couples become intentional about their connection again. It creates a space to acknowledge what’s missing and find ways to bring back the joy, intimacy, and closeness that once felt effortless.

9. We Struggle with Conflict – Either We Avoid It or It Gets Too Heated

Mia and Chris loved each other, but they handled conflict in completely opposite ways. Mia grew up in a home where disagreements were loud and intense—her parents would argue, say hurtful words in the heat of the moment, and then act like nothing had happened the next day. She hated it, but she also learned that conflict meant engaging, even if it got messy. In her mind, avoiding issues only made them fester.

Chris, on the other hand, had the opposite experience. In his family, conflict was something to be avoided at all costs. If there was tension, it was brushed under the rug. No one raised their voices; no one talked through hard emotions. So when arguments started, Chris’s instinct was to shut down—to disengage, withdraw, and wait for things to blow over.

This difference created a frustrating pattern in their marriage. Whenever Mia felt hurt or frustrated, she wanted to talk about it right away, and she didn’t hold back. She would raise her voice, press Chris to respond, and demand answers. But the more intense she became, the more Chris retreated. He would go silent, avoid eye contact, and eventually leave the room altogether. From Mia’s perspective, this felt infuriating. It was like he didn’t care at all. Why wouldn’t he just fight for their relationship?

From Chris’s perspective, Mia’s intensity felt overwhelming. He wasn’t trying to ignore her—he just didn’t know how to respond in a way that wouldn’t make things worse. When he was backed into a corner, his brain told him to shut down. And the more Mia pushed, the more paralyzed he felt and he drifted into stonewalling.

The result? The same painful cycle over and over. Mia feeling abandoned. Chris feeling attacked. Both of them feeling misunderstood and exhausted.

In therapy, Mia and Chris finally got to hear each other’s experiences in a way they never had before. Mia learned that Chris’s silence wasn’t a sign that he didn’t care—it was a coping mechanism he had developed to feel safe. Chris learned that Mia’s intensity wasn’t an attack—it was a desperate attempt to feel heard.

One of the biggest breakthroughs was realizing that conflict itself wasn’t the problem—their approaches to conflict were. They needed new communication tools.

With guidance, they practiced slowing down their arguments before they escalated. Mia learned to soften her approach, expressing her feelings without overwhelming Chris. Instead of pressing him immediately for a response, she learned to say, “I know this is hard for you, but I really need us to talk about this when you’re ready.” Chris, in turn, worked on staying present in the conversation instead of shutting down. He learned that it was okay to ask for a break—“I need a few minutes to collect my thoughts, but I promise I’ll come back to talk in 20 minutes”—as long as he followed through.

They also developed strategies for repairing arguments. Before, they would either stew in resentment or pretend nothing happened. Now, they started checking in with each other after a disagreement—offering hugs, reassurance, and even humor to remind each other that they were on the same team.

Over time, the change was incredible. Their fights became productive instead of destructive. Mia felt less alone because Chris was showing up, not shutting down. Chris felt less afraid because Mia was approaching him with patience instead of pressure. Instead of feeling like enemies, they started feeling like partners again.

One night, after a tough but respectful conversation, Chris turned to Mia and said, “That was the first time I didn’t feel like I needed to run. It actually felt… good to talk through it.” Mia smiled, squeezed his hand, and replied, “And it was the first time I didn’t feel like I had to chase you.”

For the first time in a long time, they felt heard.

Why Therapy Helps:

Conflict isn’t the enemy—disconnection is. Many couples don’t realize that their fight patterns come from deeply ingrained experiences. Therapy helps break unhealthy cycles and teaches couples how to communicate in a way that makes both people feel valued and understood.

10. We Struggle with Sharing the Workload at Home

Jamie and Mark never imagined that household chores would be the thing that put the most strain on their marriage. However, after having their second child, the imbalance in responsibilities became impossible to ignore. Jamie felt like she was doing everything. Between taking care of the kids, keeping the house clean, grocery shopping, and managing their schedules, she barely had time to breathe.

By the end of the day, she was physically and emotionally drained. Mark, on the other hand, worked long hours at a demanding job. By the time he got home, all he wanted was to decompress. He figured that since he was working to provide for the family, Jamie handling most of the household tasks was a fair trade.

But to Jamie, it didn’t feel fair at all. It felt lonely. She didn’t just want help with the chores—she wanted to feel like they were partners. Instead, she felt like she was running the household 24/7 while Mark got to check out when he got home from his job. Resentment started building. Every little thing—from dishes left in the sink to unfolded laundry—felt like proof that Mark didn’t understand all she was doing for the family.

Mark, on the other hand, felt unappreciated, too. He worked long hours to provide for their family and felt like that effort went unnoticed. When Jamie would bring up household responsibilities, all he heard was criticism. He felt like nothing he did was enough, so eventually, he stopped trying. Instead of working as a team, they had started seeing each other as the problem.

In therapy, Jamie and Mark finally had the chance to talk about what was really going on beneath the surface. Jamie wasn’t just upset about the dishes—she was feeling unseen in their marriage. Mark wasn’t just avoiding chores—he was feeling unappreciated in his role.

Once they understood this, they were able to have real conversations instead of just arguments. Instead of blaming each other, they started tackling the problem together. Therapy helped them restructure their household responsibilities in a way that felt fair to both of them. They made a plan that accounted for Mark’s demanding work schedule and Jamie’s non-stop responsibilities at home. They also learned how to express appreciation for each other—Jamie acknowledging Mark’s hard work outside the home, and Mark recognizing all the behind the scenes labor and mental load Jamie was responsible for inside the home.

The impact of these changes was huge. Instead of feeling like opponents, they started functioning as a team again. Mark made a conscious effort to be more present in the evenings, helping with bedtime routines and tackling small tasks without being asked. Jamie, in turn, felt seen and supported, which made her feel less resentful and more connected to Mark.

One night, after putting the kids to bed together, Jamie turned to Mark and said, “I feel like we’re in this together again.” Mark smiled, pulled her into a hug, and replied, “We are.”

That small moment meant everything—it was proof that their marriage wasn’t just about responsibilities. It was about partnership, teamwork, and showing up for each other.

Why Therapy Helps:

Household responsibilities aren’t just about chores—they’re about fairness, appreciation, and emotional connection. Therapy helps couples create a balance that works for both partners, reducing resentment and strengthening their relationship.

11. Extended Family is Creating Tension

Ethan and Sophia loved their families, but they didn’t always love how much influence they had on their marriage.

For Sophia, family had always been deeply intertwined with daily life. She talked to her mom multiple times a day, shared everything with her sisters, and rarely made a big decision without consulting them.

When she and Ethan got married, she naturally expected that her close family ties would continue. She wanted her parents to be involved in their children’s lives, and she saw nothing wrong with dropping by their house several times a week or inviting them into conversations about personal matters.

Ethan, on the other hand, had grown up differently. His family was loving but independent—everyone had their own space, and personal matters stayed between spouses. He valued privacy and saw marriage as a partnership primarily between two people, not an entire extended family. When he and Sophia got married, he assumed they would create their own unit, making decisions together without outside influence.

At first, their differences felt manageable. But as the years went on, tensions grew. Sophia’s parents would frequently stop by unannounced, and she would say yes to family gatherings without checking with Ethan. When Ethan voiced his discomfort, Sophia saw it as an attack on her family. Meanwhile, Ethan felt like Sophia wasn’t prioritizing their relationship. He started pulling away, avoiding family events, and making passive-aggressive comments about how he felt like a guest in his own marriage.

One Thanksgiving, things came to a breaking point. Sophia had committed them to spending the entire weekend with her family without consulting Ethan. He had been looking forward to a quiet holiday at home, and when he found out about the change of plans, he snapped. A heated argument followed, with Ethan shouting, “Are we building a life together, or am I just tagging along with your family’s plans?”

Sophia was stunned. From her perspective, she had simply been honoring family traditions. But for Ethan, it felt like yet another example of his needs being ignored.

In therapy, Ethan and Sophia had a safe space to express what they had been feeling for years. Ethan admitted that he often felt like an outsider, like their marriage was being run by Sophia’s family instead of the two of them. Sophia, in turn, shared that she never intended to push Ethan aside—she just assumed that the closeness she had with her family was something he would naturally adapt to.

Through guided conversations, they learned that the issue wasn’t about rejecting family—it was about creating healthy boundaries that honored their marriage. They worked on setting expectations for extended family involvement, agreeing that while family was important, their relationship had to come first. They started practicing a “check-in” rule before committing to family plans, ensuring that both of them felt heard and respected in the process.

Sophia also worked on setting gentle but firm boundaries with her family, letting them know that while she still loved and valued them, she needed to make decisions with Ethan first. At the same time, Ethan made an effort to engage with Sophia’s family in a way that didn’t feel forced, finding moments of connection that felt natural for him.

The shift in their relationship was profound. Instead of arguing over whose family “won,” they started working as a team, deciding together what was best for their marriage. Over time, Ethan no longer felt like a bystander, and Sophia no longer felt like she had to choose between her husband and her family.

One evening, after declining an unplanned family visit in favor of a quiet night at home, Ethan turned to Sophia and said, “Thank you for choosing us.” Sophia smiled, realizing that for the first time, their marriage truly felt like a partnership—one that made room for family but never at the expense of each other.

Why Therapy Helps:

Extended family can be a beautiful part of a relationship, but without healthy boundaries, it can also create tension and resentment. Therapy helps couples navigate family dynamics in a way that honors both partners, ensuring that their marriage remains the priority while still fostering meaningful connections with loved ones.

12. We Want to Strengthen Our Relationship Proactively

 Liam and Lily had a good relationship—at least, that’s what everyone told them. They weren’t dealing with a major crisis, they didn’t fight often, and they generally enjoyed each other’s company. But something felt off. Liam had always been the steady, easygoing one in the relationship. He prided himself on being a good partner, showing up for Lily in big and small ways.

 But over time, he started to feel like they were coasting. Conversations were predictable, date nights had become routine, and the spark they once had seemed to be dimming. He worried that if they didn’t intentionally nurture their relationship, they might wake up one day feeling more like roommates than partners.

Lily, on the other hand, had grown up watching relationships fall apart. Her parents had started strong but drifted apart over the years, and by the time they divorced, she realized they had been emotionally disconnected for a long time. She feared that, without conscious effort, the same thing could happen to her and Liam. She didn’t want to wait until something was wrong to seek help—she wanted to make sure they were building something that would last.

So, even though there wasn’t a pressing problem, they decided to go to couples therapy. At first, they weren’t sure what to expect. Would they even have enough to talk about? Would the therapist find “issues” where there weren’t any? But those fears quickly faded as they realized therapy wasn’t just about fixing problems—it was about deepening their connection, learning more about each other, and creating habits that would make their relationship even stronger.

Through therapy, Liam and Lily discovered new ways to communicate, even about things they assumed they already understood about each other. They explored what made each of them feel loved and appreciated, learning that their love languages had evolved over time. Lily realized that while she used to feel loved through words of affirmation, what she really craved now was quality time—genuine, undistracted connection. Liam learned that his tendency to avoid deep emotional conversations wasn’t because he didn’t care but because he had never been taught how to express himself in that way.

They also worked on bringing more intentionality and creativity into their relationship. Instead of defaulting to the same dinner-and-movie date nights, they created a shared list of experiences they wanted to try together. They started asking each other deeper questions, rediscovering dreams and desires they hadn’t talked about in years. They even established a weekly “relationship check-in,” where they could openly discuss what was going well and what needed attention—before it ever turned into a problem.

The impact of therapy was more profound than they could have imagined. Their relationship went from feeling comfortable to feeling exciting, connected, and deeply fulfilling. They laughed more. They felt more emotionally and physically connected. They became more intentional in showing appreciation for one another, making sure neither of them felt taken for granted.

One evening, after an especially meaningful conversation, Liam looked at Lily and said, “I feel closer to you now than I did when we first fell in love.” And for Lily, that was everything. Because now, instead of fearing they would drift apart, she knew they were actively growing together.

Why Therapy Helps:

Couples therapy isn’t just for struggling relationships—it’s for all relationships. Just like regular check-ups keep your body healthy, proactive therapy keeps your relationship strong. It helps couples deepen their connection, improve communication, and create a foundation that will last a lifetime.

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Spring is a season of transformation, growth, and fresh starts—and what better time to invest in your relationship? 

You may be wondering is couples therapy covered by insurance? It really depends on a few things. Click here to see if your insurance would work for couples sessions with me.

Just as nature renews itself, your relationship can, too. Whether you want to resolve ongoing challenges, reconnect emotionally, or simply strengthen your bond, therapy offers the tools and support you need to grow together.

Imagine looking back a few months from now and feeling closer, more understood, and more connected than ever before. That journey starts with a single step. Don’t wait for things to get worse or for the “perfect” time—today is the perfect time.

Here’s Your Next Steps!

1. Schedule a Complimentary 15-Minute Consultation – Let’s chat about your concerns and see if couples therapy is a good fit. Schedule here.
2. Take the Couples Connection Challenge – Discover fun & meaningful ways to connect one conversation at a time! Start here, it’s FREE!
3. Join my Facebook Group – I share free resources and tools to build healthy relationships. Join here.

4. Get on the Waitlist for the Be Still Group Therapy – This group blends research-           backed mindfulness tools with a Christian perspective. Sign up here.

Therapy is a gift to your relationship. No matter where you are in your journey, know that help is available and healing is possible.

*Note: Client confidentiality is always a top priority. The stories and examples shared here are drawn from common relationship patterns I help clients navigate, but they do not reflect any one individual’s experience.